hmmm... this is funny. i can't view my blog (or any of the other blogger blogs i read) from here in shanghai but it seems that i can make a new entry. i wonder if you all can see this? i think american blogs hosted by blogger are blocked, but blogger china seems fine.

anyhow, i think most of you know but just in case--i'm in shanghai now and that's why i've been m.i.a. for so long. i have less than two weeks left here (i've been here since june 12th) before i head to beijing to visit relatives and meet up with my parents. after a week and a half there, i'll be returning to the states with my parents.

i've been keeping a journal on my laptop in Word and i write in it sporadically. when i get home, i'll post some excerpts (the thing is 38 pages right now).

i don't want to say too much about my trip so far because i don't want to rush to judgment about how i feel and what i've taken away. even with just eleven days left out of what began as around sixty and each day filled with pondering my situation and experiences and my attitudes towards it all, i think i need more time to reflect upon it more wholly. what i will say though, because i think it's pretty safe to say, is that this has been the most challenging thing i have ever done--the most emotionally taxing thing, and it has certainly made me do a lot of brow-furrowing thinking.

anyways, i think i am ready to move on and i look forward to returning to the states so that i may share my summer abroad with you and catch up on everything i've missed.

all the best.

i got my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday morning, all four of them. from wikipedia: "They are generally thought to be called wisdom teeth because they appear so late—much later than the other teeth, at an age where people are supposedly wiser than as a child, when the other teeth erupt.... Turkish language refers directly to the age at which wisdom teeth appear and calls it 20 yaş dişi (20th year tooth). In Korean, its name is Sa-rang-nee (사랑니, love teeth) referring to the young age and the pain of the first love. In Japanese, its name is Oyashirazu (親知らず), literally meaning 'unknown to the parents' from the idea that they erupt after a child has moved away from home." i suppose it's appropriate: i'm twenty this year, and i'm about to live on my own (at least more so than i ever have before) for two months in another country (though it is my home country). makes it sound a lot more romantic than it actually is, doesn't it?

i spent all day yesterday sleeping on the couch and waking up occasionally to shuffle around the first floor (didn't feel up for any stair-climbing), get a new ice pack, take meds, watch some tv, etc. holding a book and reading felt like too much effort. i felt lightheaded and slightly queasy, very sluggish and grumpy during the periods when the painkillers were wearing off but before i could take them again. my mother made me eggs and freshly squeezed orange juice. it's nice to be babied. ^_^

the painkillers hurt my appetite. they made me throw up too~yuck~but i felt a lot better afterwards. i wasn't allowed to have dairy yesterday, but i made a delicious smoothie w/a banana, blueberries, pineapple, and soy milk. today i get to have ice cream! yay.

i perused the pottery barn summer catalog. everything is so beautiful and perfectly coordinated. seaside living would be amazing. i really want to live in california someday. i feel inexplicably drawn to the ocean. but ocean views are very different from under the ocean for me:

i watched whale rider the other day. the underwater shots of the ocean and whales, i associate them with death. that's what i imagine death to be like, with its eerie quietness, the floaty quality, isolation, and lack of orientation. maybe things like the titanic and the awakening have prompted this sort of association. i know, creepy turn of events in this entry. let's move on.

i got some good ideas from the catalog for ways to use all the shells i've collected over the years and ways to display photographs in a cool, casual way. i'm painting today. i created an awesome playlist to listen to while i paint. i have a huge canvas that i bought last summer--this will be the third painting i paint on it (i was unsatisfied with the last two). the painting will be largely black and white, based on one of the photographs of a magnolia bloom that i took in south carolina. i think the b & w will look good with my chartreuse walls.

speaking of magnolia blooms, my friend gracie moo (well, actually her name's grace but i have 2 friends named grace so this will differentiate them) has a giant magnolia tree in front of her house. grace, sooyoung, & i hung out together on monday (i had to squeeze it in before i got my teeth pulled). we got indian food for lunch (omg i love) and then went shopping, looking for super cheap clothes. we tried on bunches of summer dresses at marshall's and then went digging through the clearance racks and $1 section at target. wrapped up the afternoon with italian ice & custard @ rita's. i had such enormous fun. i have such great friends. i love them. ^_^

last friday, sooyoung, crystal, & i went to paint pottery. i painted a mug that'll be ready for pickup on friday afternoon. i can't wait to see how it turns out! afterwards, i went to angela's~she hosted a get-together of friends to put together care packages for our soldiers--not just in iraq, but all over the world. there's a website www.anysoldier.com that links up soldiers w/those like us who want to help. they request things like personal care items, food, magazines, etc. i mailed out a care package for some soldiers in the air force in iraq--they requested school supplies for the local schools they work with. we just have to ship it to an army post office in new york or cali & they ship it to wherever the soldiers are abroad. regardless of politics, it's a very worthwhile, very simple thing to do. it's great that angela organized the whole thing and made it happen. too often we just talk about things and do nothing.

ange is one of the people who inspire me. i've known her since middle school. in high school, we did "political" things together--we went to hear howard dean speak for the maryland dems, we volunteered for the kerry campaign and worked the polls on election day since we weren't old enough to vote yet. she goes to unc now, studying public policy & bio. she listens to npr, reads a lot, has an inquisitive mind, and tries hard to keep up with world events/politics. she keeps me informed too, and she inspires me to keep myself informed. i admire her. :)

i think the base coat for my painting has dried. back to painting now.

angela came over thursday night for dinner, and i made fish tacos. my dad helped me grill the fish & some shrimp, as well as the tortillas. i made mango salsa and guac. we had quite a spread of toppings: shredded cheese, sour cream, refried beans, tomatoes, golden corn, and shredded green cabbage. it was all delish, and ange & i got to do lots of chatting.
today my parents and i went to visit the national building museum (and its sustainable living exhibit~pretty neat, though not mind-blowing) and then went to the fish market to pick up some live crabs for dinner! excited. ^_^ (btw, interesting fact: the bamboo floor that my parents recently put in our family room is actually eco-friendly. bamboo grows much faster than trees, so it's a natural resource that more readily renews itself, and bamboo is cheaper than wood! you can also buy bamboo tableware. consider it next time. it's all very pretty too.)

i put together two shadow boxes for my room. i got some photos that i've taken at the beach printed in b & w with a black border, and then added some shells that i've found on various vacations.

beach living and other thoughts

last week's vacation in myrtle beach, sc, through photos...

brookgreen gardens:

beautiful old trees dripping with spanish mossspot the turtle in the photo above?we went on a boat tour of the creeks running through brookgreen. we spotted two alligators!

by the sea:

mom, reading on the balconydining al frescolook at the reflection in the sliding door!on vacation, i drank water from a wine glass, with a slice of lemon slipped in. such a small touch makes a world of difference. makes it feel special. ^_^imprints in the sandour outfits matched!

i leave for shanghai exactly two weeks from today. i think about it with apprehension. i am excited about the possibilities for adventure, getting to know the city intimately, seeing how i do on my own. at the same time though, i have no idea what to expect. that's part of the appeal, but it's also why this is so intimidating. there's the business component--operations, supply chain (in which i have no background, no classes)--and there's also the language component. i have no idea how my chinese will hold up, especially in a business environment. at this moment though, i'm more excited than anxious. a few days ago, or yesterday even, i was more anxious, less eager.

i watched scoop tonight (woody allen, scarlet johansson, hugh jackman) & enjoyed it. clever, charming~it had character, but nothing to take too seriously. debra messing's the starter wife series is premiering thursday & i want to see it.

my dad was in cleveland this weekend for a volleyball tournament, and my mom and i had a guest over for lunch today. my dad is usually the one who cooks, but since he was out of town, i made lunch. i woke up at 8 this morning to go to the store to buy cod for martha's lemon-parsley fishcakes. i also made roasted potatoes from one of ina garten's cookbooks, salad (with avocado~i love it in omelets too), and the raw blueberry tartlets i made for mother's day (the tart crusts turned out much better~they actually looked like tarts & the presentation was excellent). lunch was a general success (the fishcakes could be tweaked).

i'm going in for a wisdom-tooth-pulling consultation on wednesday. i don't want to have mine pulled~scary! nervous.

[btw, it turns out this blog can be viewed in china (at least for now), so i don't need to move it.]

anyways, good night.

the bottle tree

each time we're down here at myrtle beach, we always go to brookgreen gardens. it's composed of four former plantations that have been converted into gardens featuring american sculpture. i found the following sculpture strangely mesmerizing:


called the bottle tree, its story goes as follows:

this interpretation of the bottle tree honors an age-old tradition of the African American community of the Lowcountry. multicolored glass bottles hung on a tree attracted evil spirits that might have been lurking by the house. the bottles are slanted upward so that the spirits, mesmerized by the sunlit colors, are trapped once they have entered. as the wind blows across the mouth of the bottle, the spirits are heard to moan. the bottle tree has its roots in Africa and is a rare example of cultural transfer and survival.

i collect glass bottles. perhaps i could create something out of them~right now, they're just lined up along my windowsill.

magnolia blossoms

there are huge beautiful magnolia trees down here. i want to add them to the list of flowers i would want in a wedding bouquet: peonies, hydrangeas, tulips, and magnolia blossoms.