royal blue and lemon trees

girl power

2009-04-24T13:24:00.002-05:00

a wonderful piece in the nyt: http://kalman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/23/may-it-please-the-court/

2009-04-17T23:28:00.007-05:00

nearly a month since my last post! it's less than a month until graduation, really unbelievable. a few updates:

did relay for life at the end of march~the luminaria ceremony was beautiful, the weather held up & lots of good friends were around :)
i've been running a lot lately too, longer runs about 4-6 miles each time! forest park is beautiful these days - trees budding, flowers coming up - green, and birds and just lovely. my new running path goes through some more woodsy areas, so it's really peaceful & perfect. h. & j.r. & i are hoping to do a 5k next weekend ~

baking less this semester, but still doing a bit ~ this was from a few weeks ago, lemon bars. more gooey than i'm used to, but good:
korean-inspired veggie pancakes - carrots, scallions, shrimp, onions in a simple batter of eggs, flour & water:
simple but satisfying: sliced, peppered avocado and colby on toast
stir-fried soba w/chicken, carrots, spinach, scallions & soy ~ surprised it actually tasted decent
fried rice ~ failure. tasted like nothing & grainy/chewy from ground turkey.
eggs scrambled w/avocado ~ creamy wonderful
reunited w/london flatmates @ t.'s birthday dinner :)
fluffy omelet filled w/sliced avocado + sauteed potatoes (still a bit raw unfortunately)
"fried" tomatoes, a recipe i learned from h. slowly cook up some garlic & tomatoes until soft & saucy, season w/salt & pepper. so good & simple. ate it with tortillas dipped in ...
tortillas left over from this delicious mexican "carnitas dinner" leftover from the night before. amazing pork... potato salad! impressed myself w/how good it was (despite the unappetizing photo). red-skinned potatoes, asparagus, egg, tuna, red onion, scallions, lemon zest + juice, capers, mayo & mustard.
tilapia on a bed of soba, shredded veggies (carrots, asparagus, mushrooms), turkey sausage - topped with a few slivers of gently fried scallions. really quite good, mmm...
back to the udon! hadn't had this in a while. shrimp, turkey sausage & about-to-rot mixed salad greens. good as i remember ^_^
k, good night : )

2009-03-18T22:26:00.001-05:00

if you'll remember, i was reading jeffrey steingarten's the man who ate everything a few weeks ago for my food class. below, my review.

Jeffrey Steingarten has a thing for detail. Open up to any page in his first collection of essays, and you’ll spot the book title at the top of one page and the chapter heading at the top of the other. Flip through the rest of the book though, and you’ll notice that pieces of the title are gradually bitten off, such that what started out as THE MAN WHO ATE EVERYTHING in Part I has progressed to THE MAN WHO ATE EVERYTH (even a corner of the H has been nibbled off) by Part III, until finally, it is just THE MAN WHO ATE by the end of the book in Part V. Steingarten documents his unwavering quest for authenticity and his insatiable appetite for astoundingly good food in The Man Who Ate Everything: And Other Gastronomic Feats, Disputes and Pleasurable Pursuits. His patience for detail, his childlike curiosity about everything around him and his rigorous standards for historic, cultural and scientific precision serve him well, even if they do occasionally become exhausting for those around him.

It was back in 1989 that Steingarten entered the world of food writing, when the one and only Anna Wintour recruited him away from his career as a Harvard-trained corporate lawyer to fill the post of food critic at American Vogue. He was initially reluctant: “I thought food was too frivolous to write about,” he said, but he could not resist the temptation and soon discovered that food “was the most profound subject you could possibly write about. There is no aspect of human activity it doesn't touch.”

Interestingly, Steingarten’s first assignment was to write about the less-than-profound microwaved fish, trendy at the time among those in the “fashionable world that the rest of us can imitate but never enter.” Three months, two new microwaves and twenty microwave cookbooks later, his piece was complete, published in the March 1998 issue of Vogue and also reprinted in the book, in the chapter entitled “Fish without Fire.” In addition to recounting his numerous attempts at achieving a satisfactorily microwaved piece of fish, the essay includes a history of the invention of the microwave, a scientific explanation of how wavelengths and frequency determine the microwaves’ depth of food penetration and a tip on microwaving your wet Nikes (he cautions, “If you try to get it bone-dry, the rubber parts will bubble up and the instep will smoke and smolder”).

Before beginning at Vogue, Steingarten, like many of his fellow Americans, was burdened with a multitude of “powerful, arbitrary, and debilitating” food phobias, including fears of chutney, coffee ice cream, cranberries, falafel, kimchi, lard, swordfish and the cuisine (he puts quotes around that term) of the entire nation of Greece. He takes it as his journalistic duty to overcome these fears, and so he embarks upon a self-prescribed Six-Step Program, exposing himself to each phobia at least eight to ten times (he read in his research that “most babies will accept nearly anything after eight or ten tries”) and in the process, successfully becoming “a more perfect omnivore.”

A changed man, he devotes much of the first half of his book to dispelling all of the food suspicions Americans use to justify their finicky, irrational eating habits, which, he mourns, have interfered with “the sense of festivity and exchange, of community and sacrament” at mealtime. He weighs the health risk of eating raw oysters against the much higher risk of skiing injuries, tests out rigid fad diets and veganism, explores the scientific research on appetite and hunger, disputes the link between salt and high blood pressure and rails against salad as “the silent killer.” Each topic that Steingarten takes on is thoroughly backed by exhaustive investigation, whether it’s familiarizing himself with the scientific literature, reading classic cookbooks, interviewing leading experts in the field or experimenting furiously in his Manhattan loft.

Following him through his scrupulous study of every food item is grueling at times; not everyone’s eyes can be expected to light up at the mention of the molecular composition of proteins or the parts per million of sulfates found in drinking water. If one does not approach this book as a loose compilation of assorted works, instead expecting, as I did, a coherent, logically-ordered narrative that starts where it began, one can very easily get lost in the first half of the book: Each essay is dated with the month and year but not arranged in chronological order, bulleted lists that Steingarten seems to think excuse him of the need for organized thought are littered throughout the chapters and an only tangentially-relevant essay entitled “Sweet Smell of Sex” is tossed in for good measure.

Luckily, with the first line of Part IV, my confused wandering was transformed into infectious wanderlust: “When I awoke, the morning air was as crisp as bacon and as sweet as liver sausage.” The encyclopedic entries of the first half are left behind as Steingarten embarks on his “Journey of a Thousand Meals,” breathing life back into his book. The wit, elegance and levity hinted at in his writing in the first half come through full force in the second.

In the chapters that follow, Steingarten takes us along as he hunts for truffles in Albaretto della Torre, walks through the Pescheria at the Rialto market in Venice and treats himself to brioche dunked in coffee granita for breakfast at a café in Palermo. The descriptions of the white truffles he experienced in the hill country of Italy alone are dizzying: “plates of tripe and fresh porcini and a tiny green the size of clover, all hidden under paper-thin slices of white truffle,” “a wild-duck breast […] flavored with a sweet sauce of chestnuts and white truffles, and a large onion baked on a bed of salt, scooped out and filled with white truffles, meat broth, pureed onions, and cheese.” The descriptions of the food are tantalizing, the scenery, captivating and the characters, endearing – it feels as if you are sharing every meal right there with him. The obscure facts, tidbits of history and occasional lists evocative of the book’s first half are still there, but these elements are incorporated much more fluidly and thoughtfully. Steingarten makes no compromises in authenticity either, traveling long distances to get to the source to research each gastronomic delight. The value that he places on firsthand experience and hands-on experimentation is apparent. He learns from the men and women creating their local dishes, and he brings the knowledge back with him to New York, tirelessly working on recipes in his home kitchen so that his readers may recreate authentic versions in their own homes.

As serious as he is about his food, Steingarten does not take himself seriously one bit, his self-deprecating humor evident throughout the book. His numerous trips to Paris for dining marathons in the culinary capital’s finest establishments have not put him above digging into succulent barbeque ribs in Memphis or baking the Milky Way Bar Swirl Cake recipe found on the back of the candy bar package. Ultimately, whether he’s frying potatoes in Austrian horse fat, disproving pop-nutritionists, crafting homemade ketchup or perfecting an all-American piecrust, Steingarten is trying desperately to remind Americans how to eat again – to value quality ingredients, to appreciate local cuisines and to preserve time-honored food traditions.

2009-03-18T22:12:00.005-05:00

haven't posted in a while ~ just returned to school from spring break. it was the busiest one ever, crammed w/GMAT studying & other work.

i did squeeze in a bit of fun though - i baked these amazing chocolate chip cookies that would have been even more amazing had i had good-quality chocolate - and i can't believe i forgot to take a photo! they were big & generous & had layers of chocolate inside - & they were amazing, fresh from the oven.

one of my roommates also came to visit for 2 days ~ we walked all over d.c. & even saw obama's motorcade! thrilling! also drove her around baltimore & suburbs.

here we are in front of the white house:
i went to the national archives for the first time! i can hardly believe they let us see the original declaration & constitution & bill of rights! so awesome.
historic ellicott city :) took these as i was driving through.

oh, and ever since i've gotten back to school, i've been daydreaming of the beach... not necessarily tropical beach, more like outdoorsy, kayaking-in-obx kind of beach. le sigh. so instead i cling to daydreams of frolicking on the beach in thailand in june. le sigh.

yesterday was so nice here tho. high seventies & sunny. long lunch outside, then lazed on the grass catching up w/friends. campus feels so different when the weather's nice & everyone's out. these are the sorts of days i want to remember as my last in college. :)

2009-03-05T03:31:00.004-05:00

i've got quite a backlog of food photos! so, straight to the point:

had 2 large leeks & some heavy cream leftover from valentine's day, so cooked up a creamy sauce loosely based on this recipe, added peas & tilapia, and put it all on top of some fusilli.
next day, combined the leftover leek cream sauce w/ground turkey & some more peas. so delish!all the green of the leeks & peas reminded me of this from my closet :)these days, i've been constantly craving hot chocolate! it all started when, in my food class, my teacher read aloud an excerpt that james beard had written on making the stuff from scratch. that night, i picked up a small bottle of skim milk from the campus convenience store (i'd run out) - cute pink cap matched my valentine's day carnations:
and mixed this up at home w/my 85% cocoa dark chocolate (a bit too intense for this, but it's all i had on hand), milk, honey & some vanilla. not bad.
my friend & old roommate j.r. was having a birthday bash for 40+ people, so i offered to bake her cake! i love frosting things ~ the square layer cake is devil's food mix from the box w/homemade cream cheese frosting
and the cupcakes are funfetti mix from the box w/homemade buttercream using the recipe from magnolia, where we had our cupcake date last summer when i was in nyc for the 4th :)
okay, so this isn't exactly cooking, but it's at least... semi-homemade :P these are my fave store-bought dumplings, pork & shrimp w/chinese celery. i think i make pretty good potstickers.
t. & i went to this italian place for dinner - got the penne alla vodka - sauce had smoked salmon, dill & touch of tomato. the huge bowl of pasta arrived covered in glossy salmon-colored sauce. (no photo.) had some leftovers & tried cooking them up w/white wine, chicken breast & peas but the sauce just separated & it all became oily instead. made dinner w/j.r. salmon cakes, spinach gratin & pesto pasta w/peas
topped some leftover spinach gratin w/pesto pasta & sauteed shrimpgenerous heap of mashed potatoes - boiled up a potato (the one i used a while back to weigh down the cookie sheet when i baked the whole lemon tart), used up the heavy cream from the spinach gratin & tossed in some scallions. topped w/chicken breast sauteed w/leftover frozen chopped spinach (used for the gratin earlier), a splash of cream & some chopped red onion. surprisingly good!
good old omelet w/generous handful of scallions

2009-02-26T02:03:00.005-05:00

[for an assignment a few weeks ago in my food class, we were to write a piece on a cuisine unfamiliar to us.]

From the time of Alexander the Great, Afghanistan, that “graveyard of empires,” has repeatedly been invaded by foreign armies and destabilized by war, conquered by many but enduringly controlled by few.(1) From afar, through shadowy swirls of hashish smoke, many imaginations have imposed an air of haunting romance on the country as only outsiders can, documented in their rolls of film or in the pages of a travelogue. Not since the 1970’s has the country been a favored destination for travelers, and even then, it was only the hippies.(2) Except for soldiers, contractors, journalists and the occasional adventurous tourist, few dare venture there these days. Despite its daily appearance in the news, Afghanistan has managed to retain an exoticism reminiscent of that recounted by early travelers, long before words like globalization and ‘e’-anything existed.

Given its location along the Silk Road at the intersection of continents and its multiethnic population, the traditions of Afghanistan are storied and rich. At the center of it all, at once foreign and familiar, is the country’s cuisine, which has incorporated recognizable influences from Persia, the Middle East, Greece, Central Asia, China and India.(3)

In this still largely rural society, the people’s diet is very much dependent upon what is available regionally and seasonally. Staples such as wheat, rice, barley and corn form the base of the diet, and they are complemented by an assortment of fruits, vegetables and nuts.(4) One can begin to get a sense of the richness of Afghan cuisine upon seeing the diverse abundance of fruits and nuts grown in the country: melons, pomegranates, apricots, peaches, mulberries, cherries, apples, oranges and plums, alongside pistachios, walnuts, almonds and pine nuts.(5) When fresh fruit is unavailable during the winter months, it’s replaced with dried. In fact, the country is particularly famous for its grapes, which are usually dried into raisins. Since the Muslim diet forbids pork, halaal chicken, lamb and beef are the favored meats. Dairy products such as yogurt, cheese and buttermilk are also an important part of the diet.

From a personal perspective, one of the most foreign elements of Afghan cuisine is the extensive array of spices employed. To enumerate all of these spices is to conjure up images of the region’s ancient spice trade: anise, cardamom, cilantro, cinnamon, cloves, coriander, cumin, fenugreek, mint and saffron. Harmony of flavors is emphasized; spice is balanced by sweetness. A mortar and pestle is a necessity in the Afghan home; besides grinding spices, it’s also used for crushing garlic, onions and herbs.(6)

Most cooking and eating takes place within the home – Afghanistan traditionally has not had much of a restaurant culture. As in most societies, the kitchen is the women’s domain. Hospitality is highly valued; guests are treated with tremendous respect and offered extreme generosity. Mealtime, particularly when entertaining guests, can be quite an elaborate ritual. Women may spend the entire day cooking, since unexpected guests are often to be expected. The possibility of more mouths to feed, on top of the usual bounty showered on guests, makes it not uncommon to find enough food prepared to feed three times as many people as are expected.(7)

Diners are seated cross-legged on the floor, atop colorful cushions encircling a large cloth, called a daster khan, on which the food will be placed. While the men wait for the meal to be served, they sip on cardamom-infused green or black chai and nibble on sugared nuts. In place of utensils, hands are typically used for eating, so a child in the family will go around to each person with a pitcher of water and a basin for hand-washing. Once the food is ready, it is set out all at once, with care that the special dishes are within easy reach of the guests: nan, pilau, qorma (an onion-based meat stew), pickles, salads, chutneys and fruit comprise the usual spread.

Pilau, a dish of basmati rice combined with meat and vegetables, is one of the best-known dishes in Afghan cuisine and is typically made to celebrate special occasions.(8) In fact, Qabili Pilau, a variation that traditionally includes lamb, onions, carrots, raisins and a mix of spices, is often regarded as the national dish.(9)

Never having tasted Afghan cuisine myself but feeling adventurous, I decided to try my hand at Afghan cooking, and I ambitiously resolved to give the country’s signature Pilau a go. I figured that my entrée into this new realm of food was an occasion special enough to warrant the dish, and so I selected a recipe from Saveur magazine, “Kabul-Style Lamb and Rice Pilaf,” or Qabili Pilau.(10) Now, the addition of “Kabul-Style” to the name is probably one of those romantic flourishes, since the recipe was virtually identical to others I’d found for Qabili Pilau non-specific to Kabul. Still, the addition worked and a fantastical vision was spun – the capital city of Kabul is the former home of Afghan kings, and it is said that their royal chefs were recruited from all over the empire, charged with the task of melding together different cooking styles and perfecting authentic Afghan cuisine.(11) I was captivated.

Now, I must confess: As eager as I was to faithfully recreate this dish, I could not bring myself to overcome my aversion to lamb, particularly in large chunks and pervading every grain of rice as this dish entailed. So, in its place, I quietly slipped in the boneless, skinless chicken breast ubiquitous in the American diet, knowing full well that it lacks the fat content and strong flavor of lamb. In my defense, chicken is “the most common and abundant of meats” in Afghanistan.(12) But anyways, to resume on my foray into Afghan cuisine –

After picking up a small package of basmati rice, a yellow onion, some carrots, ground coriander and ground cloves from the store to supplement what I already had at home, I set to carefully following each step in the recipe for Qabili Pilau.

The rice is first allowed to soak for at least twenty minutes to ensure that the grains do not stick together when cooked. The generous chunks of meat are then browned in a large, heavy-bottomed pan, and the same is done with the chopped onion. Together, after some water is added, the onion and chicken are left to simmer. In Afghan cuisine, food is often cooked slowly so as to draw out all the flavors of the ingredients. When the lid is raised after an hour of simmering, a rich, caramel-colored broth is revealed. The chunks of chicken are removed, and the rice, as well as a mix of coriander, cinnamon, black pepper, cumin and cloves are added. With a few more cups of water, the rice is allowed to cook until fluffy. Finally, it’s topped with the chicken and sautéed carrots and raisins, along with some more of the spice mixture. The entire process takes more than two hours, but the heaping mound of Pilau is reward enough.

When I stick my face in my bowl and inhale, the aroma is deep and warm, earthy and soothing. I can see that every grain has been flecked with the ground spices, and shoestring carrots peek out from the mound. In my mouth, each grain of rice is soft but distinguishable, and all have been infused with the meaty flavor of the chicken broth. The onions have virtually melted away, but they, along with the plump raisins, slightly caramelized carrots and sprinkling of cinnamon, add sweetness to the dish. Melded together, the spices are mild and almost impossible to tell apart, but I can detect a smoky finish – cumin, the likely culprit. A gentle tingling lingers in my mouth, the aromatic spices balancing the sweet notes. As expected, dry chunks of chicken stud the rice like land mines, but even they cannot ruin the otherwise perfect dish.

I deem this jaunt into Afghan cuisine a resounding success. I am surprised by how quickly my senses have taken to the unique flavors of the spice blend, by how comforting a good whiff of the complex aroma is. I begin to grasp the intricacies of Afghan cuisine and its varied influences – the sensations seem vaguely familiar and yet stimulatingly new; I recognize certain ingredients, terms and philosophies in the cuisine, and yet they are combined in a way that produces unfamiliar results. All this thinking is too much though, so I close my eyes, inhale deeply and savor slowly.

(1) Helene Cooper, “Fearing Another Quagmire in Afghanistan,” New York Times 24 Jan. 2009, 09 Feb. 2009 http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/weekinreview/25cooper.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink.

(2) Joshua Hammer, “The Mysteries of Kabul,” New York Times 21 Jan. 2007, 08 Feb. 2009 http://travel.nytimes.com/2007/01/21/travel/21kabul.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink.

(3) Hafizullah Emadi, Culture and Customs of Afghanistan (Westport: Greenwood Press, 2005) 137.

(4) Helen Saberi, Afghan Food & Cookery (New York: Hippocrene Books, 2000) 2.

(5) Hafizullah Emadi, Culture and Customs of Afghanistan (Westport: Greenwood Press, 2005) 143.

(6) Helen Saberi, Afghan Food & Cookery (New York: Hippocrene Books, 2000) 20.

(7) Hafizullah Emadi, Culture and Customs of Afghanistan (Westport: Greenwood Press, 2005) 138.

(8) Sher Dil Qader, “Rice Pilaf with Lamb, Carrots and Raisins,” Gourmet, Oct. 2007, 09 Feb. 2009 http://www.gourmet.com/recipes/2000s/2007/10/rice_pilaf_with_lamb.

(9) Helen Saberi, Afghan Food & Cookery (New York: Hippocrene Books, 2000) 132.

(10) “Kabul-Style Lamb and Rice Pilaf,” Saveur, Issue No. 109, 07 Feb. 2009 http://www.saveur.com/article/Food/Kabul-Style-Lamb-and-Rice-Pilaf.

(11) “Afghan cusine,” Wikipedia, 06 Feb. 2009 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afghan_cuisine.

(12) Hafizullah Emadi, Culture and Customs of Afghanistan (Westport: Greenwood Press, 2005) 141.

i had leftover carrots, so i made carrot-apple-raisin-blueberry muffins for breakfast, loosely based on this recipe.

currently reading:

2009-02-22T23:46:00.002-05:00

for my food class. picked it myself for my book review assignment, but it's not exactly what i expected & taking longer than i had anticipated. hoping it will get better in the second half.

valentine's day & other lovely things

2009-02-17T18:16:00.004-05:00

[as you may be able to tell, i've been playing around w/the colors & layout of this blog. ready for a change.]

last week, i found a lovely surprise awaiting me in the mailroom:

a cupcake card for valentine's day -and this beautifully delicate, fluttery lime top - from my parents!
as for my whole lemon tart, it was entirely too sweet and rather grainy... but to my surprise, one of my roommates actually really liked it!
this is just one of the greek salads i toss together on any old day, but i thought it just looked so pretty on this particular day.
tilapia fillet baked with scallions, onions, lemon juice & olive oil + whole grain spaghetti with zucchini & tomatoes sauteed with garlic & balsamic
on friday, the day before valentine's day, my friend & i had dinner @ our on-campus "upscale bistro style" restaurant. they gave all the ladies a carnation on the way out. i'd almost forgotten how pretty carnations can be! they remind me of valentine's day in middle & high school.
friend & i made v-day dinner together: ny strip steak, asparagus sauteed w/baby portabellos & scalloped potatoes w/leeks. it was actually my first time cooking with leeks - so exciting! - and the potatoes were my fave (gruyere, cream & chicken stock made the dish extra rich).
y. + the delicious meal we prepared!
to finish: chocolate cupcakes (from the box) with homemade cream cheese frosting. we also hid pieces of chocolate in the centers, as if it wasn't decadent enough.
with some of the leftover scalloped potatoes, i attempted a spanish omelet. softened some chopped red onion, broke the slices of potato into smaller chunks & added beaten egg. tasted good but didn't look like the omelets we ate in madrid or at the tapas restaurants here. this photo captures the mosaic-like outside. interesting looking at least.
again, pretty salad leaves. y. bought this new asian-inspired bowl for h. i like.

on gouda

2009-02-15T12:38:00.008-05:00

This is a follow-up piece to my post a few weeks ago on cheese tasting in my food-writing class. It turns out that all three of the cheeses we tasted were Gouda, so our assignment this time was to write about Gouda. Apologies for the funky formatting & poor citations in places.

When one says GOO-dah, most Americans today will think of the soft, mild and buttery cheese readily found at any average supermarket. It’s only a smaller but growing number of Americans, however, who are familiar with aged Gouda; these few are likely the same ones who know that it’s actually pronounced HOW-dah. Though the town of Gouda in the western Netherlands has been producing its eponymous cheese since the 6^th century, Food & Wine magazine listed aged Gouda among its “Trendsetting Ingredients” as recently as last month.

In the Gouda clan, the aged varieties bear such a striking contrast to the mild young things industrially-produced for mainstream outlets that one might question their relatedness. Whereas the former is traditionally enshrouded in a layer of black wax, the average Gouda is outfitted in cheery red or yellow. Appropriately described as “assertive,” aged Gouda is gritty in texture, amber in color, robust in flavor and defiant in personality, rejecting neat slices in favor of craggy shards.

The relative obscurity of aged Gouda belies its intensely pleasing taste: sharply salty with a sweet finish, a complex caramel flavor that far trumps anything that young Goudas can offer. The sweetness results from the washing of the curds during the production process, and the grainy texture of the aged cheese can be attributed to the naturally-occurring amino acid tyrosine, which speckles the cheese with tiny crystals during the maturation process. Whereas young Goudas take mere weeks or months to ripen, the maturation of aged Goudas can last anywhere from one to seven-plus years.

Since the name “Gouda” is not legally protected, the cheese may be made anywhere in the world. Though production has long since moved away from its birthplace in the town of Gouda, the weekly Kaasmarkt, a cheese market representing a 300 year-old tradition, is still held there from mid-June to early September. Get there in time for the market on Thursday morning, and in the afternoon, take a spin around town on the Cheese Express, a horse-drawn wagon that runs only on market days. Stay for the weekend to pay a visit to the 15^th-century Gothic style town hall, one of the oldest in the Netherlands, and take home a smoking pipe and some candles, for which the town is known. For the armchair travelers seeking a taste of aged Gouda, pick up a copy of Gouda in Foto’s from Amazon.com and then head to your local Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s for a wedge of cheese. Alternatively, order the Gouda online to have it delivered to your door.

While young Gouda takes most readily to beer, the aged variety is best paired with wines featuring notes of butterscotch and caramel: a Chardonnay or dry Riesling among the whites, or a Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot or Pinot Noir among the reds. As satisfying as it is in its pure form, picture the aged Gouda shaved into parchment-colored, feather-like curls and floated atop a bed of tender, vibrantly green asparagus spears. Or, imagine dipping a skewered chunk of dark, crusty bread into a pot of golden, bubbling aged Gouda fondue.

I’ll share with you, that the first time I tasted aged Gouda, I was blown away. It was a five year-old “antique,” and as I took in the grainy texture and honey color, I was mystified by the foreign flavor – I had never tasted anything like it, whether in cheese or any other food form. The transformative magic that time had worked on this Gouda was bewildering. My mind tried in vain to place the taste – the closest thing it could identify was the flavor of soy sauce. I knew immediately that this cheese would become something I would crave – a nibble, sufficiently satisfying.

As the wimpy bries and tame young Goudas of my past faded quickly from memory, I wondered why no one had bothered to introduce me to aged Gouda earlier. As so often is the case, I did not consider my former ignorance blissful, but I reminded myself to be grateful that someone did enlighten me, even if it was later than I would have liked. And so, here I am, paying it forward by divulging to you my newfound source of delight. To those who have long known about aged Gouda, I envy you, and to those who are hearing about it for the first time here – You’re welcome.

Below I have listed online merchants that carry the aged varieties, as well as a handful of recipes featuring creative uses of aged Gouda. When shopping for the cheese, note that prices per pound will tend to increase with the age of the cheese, and artisanal Goudas will usually be labeled Boerenkaas, meaning farmer’s cheese.

· Super Aged Gouda (1 year), $16.95/pound
www.winchestercheese.com

· Boerenkaas Gouda (2 years), $18.00/pound
www.murrayscheese.com

· Reypenaer V.S.O.P. (2 years), $34.96/pound
www.formaggiokitchen.com

· Extra Triple Aged Gouda (5 years), $19.99/pound
www.igourmet.com

· Roomano (6 years), $20.50/pound
www.artisanalcheese.com

· Aged Gouda Fondue with Caraway Croutons
http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/aged-gouda-fondue-with-caraway-croutons

· Sautéed Asparagus with Aged Gouda Cheese
http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/sauteed-asparagus-with-aged-gouda-cheese?autonomy_kw=gouda&rsc=header_1

· Aged Gouda Biscotti with Walnuts
http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/aged-gouda-biscotti-with-walnuts

· Grilled Plum Salad with Aged Gouda and Pecans
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/grilled-plum-salad-with-aged-gouda-and-pecans-recipe/index.html

[1] "Gouda, Bon Appetit 01 Feb. 2009 <http://www.bonappetit.com/tipstools/ingredients/2008/04/gouda>.

[2] “What to Cook Now: Trendsetting Ingredients,” Food & Wine Jan. 2009, 01 Feb. 2009 .

[3] Florence Fabricant, “Shopping for Assertive Cheese,” New York Times 28 Jul. 1993, 01 Feb. 2009

[4] “Gouda the Great,” Apartment Therapy The Kitchn 27 Jan. 2009, 01 Feb. 2009 .

[5] “The Gouda Cheese and Craft Market,” Gouda Cheese City 02 Feb. 2009 .

[6] “The Case for Gouda,” The Nibble 2005, 02 Feb. 2009 <http://www.thenibble.com/reviews/main/cheese/cheese2/whey/2008-02-gouda.asp>.

[7] Laura Werlin, “Pairing Cheese and Wine,” Food Network.com, 01 Feb. 2009 <http://www.foodnetwork.com/holidays-and-parties/pairing-cheese-and-wine/index.html>.

2009-02-11T01:09:00.001-05:00

it is pouring out! i love that i can hear it coming down from inside my room, as i work on this paper about afghan food.

2009-02-08T13:08:00.006-05:00

yesterday, i:
1. slipped down the stairs, wet from dew or melted snow, as i was leaving my apartment for a morning run. bruised bottom & elbow.
2. had a really good run in the park. it was 65 degrees yesterday! everyone was out.
3. returned, sweaty from the run, ready for a shower. the hot water apparently had gone out so it was freezing cold.
4. was at my desk reading for my environmental & energy issues class when suddenly, my overhead light went out. when i tried to turn it back on, all it did was make a chirping noise. since it's the weekend, maintenance isn't around, so i'm living on my desk lamp & bedside lamp. my roommate walked past my door & asked why i was sitting in the dark.
5. had the chance to catch up over a nice dinner w/friends.
6. attempted to make a lemon tart. put the tart in the oven on a cookie sheet. inevitably, the cookie sheet contorted when it got hot & so the pie dish was sitting at an angle, spilling out filling on one side. frustrated, i finally remembered i had a potato in the fridge, so i wrapped it in foil & used it to weigh down the edge of the cookie sheet. success. unfortunately, i discovered this morning the tart was undercooked (prob b/c of all the time it spent out of the oven when i was trying to get the cookie sheet to lie flat), so i threw it back in the oven. i think i left it for too long b/c now it is very... "golden brown." roommate: "i thought it was going to be more yellow."

made "julia's turkey meatballs" from gwyneth's GOOP newsletter. i didn't have/use fennel seeds, had to use half canned tomatoes & half fresh, used regular breadcrumbs instead of panko & substituted dried basil for all the fresh herbs. amazingly delicious!!
leftovers the next day: soft fried egg atop meatballs
leftovers the day after: added another small can of whole tomatoes, most of a zucchini, some white wine & bowtie pasta
dinner ~ dessert: bread pudding for everyone!
whole lemon tart, after first baking:
after second baking:
i am letting it chill in the fridge now, in hopes that it will firm up.

my food writing assignment for this week is to write about a cuisine we know little about. our teacher suggested going to a local restaurant or market to sample the cuisine firsthand, but since my transportation options are limited, i've decided to cook a signature dish of the cuisine at home instead & write about that experience. i've picked afghan food, & i'll be making a kabul-style chicken & rice dish of sorts tomorrow. : )

2009-02-04T00:46:00.002-05:00

baked up a golden loaf of lemon-yogurt-blueberry cake ~ i'd made it once before, in london, w/raspberries. still delicious & not excessively sweet. no butter, but very moist from yogurt & veg oil.comfort in a bowl ~ my favorite ramen ^_^
whipped up some guac for superbowl sunday! avocado, tomato, red onion, garlic, cumin, salt + pepper. paired w/jarred salsa & plain yogurt in place of sour cream.
our entire spread: for our apartment, superbowl was an excuse to eat obscene amounts of fried chicken.
h. in pj's, cooking up a massive batch of kimchi fried rice with mountains of kimchi & spam.
my version of kimchi soup: kimchi, ground turkey, udon, scallions & spinach ~ orange & so delicious.
i love the round korean spoons w/long handles : )

london on my mind

2009-02-03T00:19:00.005-05:00

(from the new york times)
a whole slew of things reminded me of london today:

first, i awoke to the new york times' story of the heavy snowfall over there.

then, while wandering around the law school putting up fliers for work, i spotted a girl w/a backpack from the gym that one of my flatmates belonged to while we were in london. it comes free w/membership.

i also stumbled across this story in the wall street journal about the state of real estate in canary wharf, the financial district where i interned.

and finally, while filling out a student survey this afternoon, i was asked "in which foreign city would you most like to work?" obviously i clicked london.

... le sigh.

sandwiches

2009-01-31T15:01:00.002-05:00

sandwiches aren't my favorite food, esp. when homemade, but i've had it for lunch two days in a row now. i try to load up the sandwiches w/more ingredients to make them more enjoyable.

turkey, swiss, mustard & mayo
after getting groceries: turkey, swiss, spinach, avocado, cucumber, tomato, pepper, dried basil, mustard + mayo

trekking thru rain, snow & slush

2009-01-31T11:46:00.007-05:00

there is still residual ice & dirty slush from the heavy snow last week, & st. louis isn't the only place that was hit. bill cunningham's "on the street" piece in the nytimes this week is entitled "the water dance," a series of photos of new yorkers leaping their way around huge puddles of melted snow & black slush. take a look!

i have a knack for slipping on ice & snow - hate hate hate it! so i've been thinking that i should invest in a pair of snow boots. this past week, i've been wearing my rainboots - but i think this is a good excuse to get a pair specifically for snow... ? anyways, i'm not really entertaining this idea seriously but below are a few styles i came across that i like:

i love the bright color & simple, modern cut of this pair!
really simple, practical, easy (and on sale!):
short & olive classic in navy:
the first few are more like my rain boots, but i like them so!

below, more serious snow boots:
abominable snowman-esque
black & practical
snow bunny
will keep thinking on it.

pierre bonnard

2009-01-30T17:44:00.001-05:00

2009-01-29T16:48:00.001-05:00

breakfast of champions: turkey & swiss omelet, plus toast w/almond butter & strawberry jam
i just find this picture of the toast so calming:
my favorite food on campus is shells w/pesto + sliced chicken tenders + red chili flakes, but sadly, now i live very far from the dining location that serves it. so, this is my take on an old fave: bowties w/store-bought pesto, topped w/lightly breaded chicken breast.

a little boasting from me...

2009-01-29T16:46:00.002-05:00

update on my food writing class: yesterday, our instructor returned our first writing assignment, to write (anything) about our cheese-tasting experience in the first class session. i got rave reviews from him (Holy cow (so to speak)! Absolutely fabulous (in British terms). All clever comments from me aside, this is a really great piece of writing. I can't wait to see your next assignment!), and he read my piece aloud to the class. a bit nerve-racking, but also made my day. i was too chicken to post what i wrote before i got his feedback, but now, childishly tickled by the praise, i share it below:

Sitting in class, I am repeatedly reminded that my hands smell like onion. The lingering smell of onion annoys me, whether on my hands or in my mouth. Even so, I can never resist those ruby rings perched atop a burger or tossed into a salad. It was the latter that did me in this time – I'd fixed a Greek salad for myself before class. I remember learning somewhere that the trick to ridding a knife of the persistent smell of onion is to clean with lemon juice. I picture the inside of my refrigerator and remember with shame that all I have is one of those lemon-shaped bottles of concentrate. I don't see myself squirting that onto my hands.

Fortunately, by the time we get to the cheeses, the smell of onion has left my mind, distracted by the prospect of more food, mystery food. I arrange in a line the three cheese cubes we are given, designated numbers one through three, from lightest to darkest in color.

The first smells of French bread, and a shred of red wax hints at its previous packaging. I bite in – it is soft, smooth and mild. There is a slight tang and nuttiness – is it possibly almond that I taste at the end? Whatever it is, the flavor is familiar. Immediately my mind starts to guess what the cheese is, and it jumps to Borough Market.

During that wondrous semester abroad in London, I was reunited with one of my best friends from high school: a cynical, opinionated foodie deeply suspicious of vegetarians. With her as my guide, I was able to forgo the disappointments, frustrations and wasted funds typically associated with exploring the food scene in a new city and skipped directly to the good stuff. On one particular occasion, I followed her and her roommate to Borough Market. Her roommate was there for only one reason, to purchase some comté cheese. After winding about the stalls and taking our share of samples, we finally came upon the golden tower of stacked cheese wheels. With her measly student budget, the roommate bought only a sliver and cradled the precious piece in her hands as we left.

I decide that the cheese I am sampling now is not the comté I tasted then, but rather the cheese from the counter that was adjacent to the comté display at the market. I had not asked what it was but just grabbed a sample from the cutting board, grateful to have maneuvered my arm through the crowd.

I give up and decide that my best guess for Cheese #1 is Edam. I remember the occasion I first tasted Edam – in Amsterdam, at the home of an aunt of sorts. She, her two other sisters and my dad had grown up together in China. She lived now with her blond, lanky Dutch partner. They had no intentions to marry or have kids – their arrangement was so modern and European in my eleven-year-old mind. It was my introduction to cheese that did not come in perfectly square, individually wrapped slices.

The second piece of cheese on the paper plate is a canary color, darker than the first but only marginally. Like the first, it too is soft and smooth in texture, but this one tastes smoky to me, almost like barbeque sauce. Somehow, I also taste a tartness like yogurt.

Finally, I come to the last piece. In my mouth, the texture is grainy at first and the flavor is very salty. It looks like wax and is much darker in color, like horse chestnut honey. I immediately recall that perfect Minneapolis summer day at the Mill City Farmers Market, where I was looking for a parting gift for my manager. I had tasted a number of honeys before deciding that the horse chestnut one would be just right for my Air-Force -turned-corporate-finance manager who had grown up on a farm in South Dakota, introduced me to the term "catty-corner" and who I knew struggled to make mac & cheese out of the blue box. Along with the honey, I had selected a jar of strawberry-basil jam and a box of lemon shortbread, all locally produced, for him, his wife and their three young kids.

I realize that the third cheese is my favorite. It tastes almost of soy sauce and is instantly satisfying, something that I might crave, knowing that a nibble would be sufficient. This is the cheese I would want to keep in my fridge. I proceed to alternate nibbles between the three cheeses, ending with Cheese #3. I let the flavor linger in my mouth as I leave class, pleased, and I am barely bothered by the thought that I need to scrub the onion scent from my hands once I get home.

***
it's not perfect - there are awkward bits and maybe some parts and characters are exaggerated - but i'm happy that i was able to make a good first impression.

"What Life Asks of Us" by David Brooks

2009-01-28T03:24:00.002-05:00

a very good piece in the nytimes ~ i find it poignant, humbling & optimistic, almost to the point of being romantic. interestingly, it reminds me of confucianism & the more traditional chinese values of my upbringing. happy reading.

winter white

2009-01-27T14:18:00.003-05:00

first major snow of the season
white food ~ oatmeal w/honey + a gently fried egg
non-white food: linguine w/shrimp, artichoke hearts, white wine, garlic & dried basil
amazing.

happy chinese new year!

2009-01-26T01:51:00.003-05:00

an abundance of happiness + good health to you + yours !

2009-01-26T01:07:00.003-05:00

a bit of london in stl w/london roommates:
new cheapo haircut that morning, barely noticeable but i like how it feels:
baked oatmeal raisin cookies - suitemates thankfully helped me gobble them all up!
another photo of udon - i think this looks better than last time
experimented w/sweet potato hash: includes sweet potato obvi, ground turkey, red onions, some tomato, a tiny bit of white wine. topped w/melted swiss, fried egg + scallions. decent, & friends really liked it, surprisingly!
apples + almond butter to finish off a meal
fun, unexpectedly productive weekend : )

2009-01-22T01:45:00.003-05:00

baked vanilla cupcakes w/majo using this mix. accidentally put an extra stick of butter in the batter so we ended up using 4 sticks of butter total in cake + frosting... also had no cupcake tin so we used free-standing aluminum foil liners, resulting in extra-wide cakes. despite everything, they still tasted & looked delightful!
cold-weather remedy: udon w/shrimp, spinach, bean sprouts, scallions + a poached egg.
these were so good, i surprised myself! salmon cakes paired w/my usual greek salad - the cakes weren't dense or dry at all - surprisingly delicate.
pasta, a student's fallback option: bow-ties w/chicken, garlic, tomatoes, spinach, capers, white wine & dried basil.

i came across this today, & i think the resolutions are fab:

yellow food

2009-01-18T16:56:00.004-05:00

i pride myself on my eggs - they are fluffy, tender & delicate. i am very anti-overcooked/dry/tasteless eggs. we see it all too often. talk about syzygy - i had a bunch of leftover white rice from making the kimchi fried rice, & i'd just happened to watch mark bittman's most recent video on making rice/noodle/bread pudding using leftovers! i used the recipe here, but substituted vanilla for the ginger & cut back on the sugar. nicely creamy, buttery & custardy - best served warm.
y. came over & made kimchi pancakes using flour (we didn't have the proper korean flour unfortunately - but still delish!), water, eggs, scallions, sesame oil & kimchi.
my contribution - scrambled eggs + tomatoes over rice, classic chinese comfort food.

update on resolutions & other things

2009-01-15T22:45:00.007-05:00

i've been good about taking my vitamins everyday, i'm looking into some local volunteering opportunities & i've also been cooking at home more!

i have decided to start taking photos of the food i make. the other night, i made some steaming bowls of udon w/shrimp, spinach & scallions for me + y. to eat while watching gossip girl - another night, i made a greek salad w/sauteed chicken breast - unfortunately, no photos, but i'm sure i'll be making these dishes again very soon. the first photos i have are of the kimchi fried rice i made for dinner tonight. i followed lucee's co-blogger's recipe - besides kimchi, it includes tuna, scallions & spinach, & it's topped with a slightly runny fried egg. lovely.

i am back at school now, and my roommates had some sweet birthday gifts waiting for me:
y/i. brought me sparkly nail decals from japan
and h. knit me arm warmers using yarn from mexico!

in other news, i am taking this amazing class, Special Topics in Journalism: Writing About the World of Food. it must be the most fun thing i've taken in college! it's taught by a food critic, the restaurants writer over here. the class will include - food books, chef profiles, restaurant reviews, anthony bourdain, alice waters, ruth reichl, recipe-writing, food fiction, nutritional issues, genetically modified foods, wine tasting, farmers/growers, the galloping gourmet, nutrition labels, obscure food vocabulary, etc! our first class was yesterday - we tasted 3 types of cheese & our assignment is to write about the experience! i will share highlights from the class as the semester progresses :)

birthday cakes & other treats

2009-01-11T22:14:00.004-05:00

mine - chocolate cake + vanilla buttercream
glittering lemon sandwich cookies - hot pink !
mom's (very belated) tiramisu cake
birthday dinner in dc :)

the requisite new year's post

2009-01-06T13:52:00.006-05:00

2008 was a very good year:

lived a dreamy little life in london - found inspiring mentors & role models in minneapolis - made a few new, incredible & unexpected friends in both places - reunited with dear old friends upon my return - and spent valuable time with family by the water

goals, resolutions, wishes, hopes for myself for 2009:

read more books outside of class
reduce intake of french fries
exercise more patience
exercise more regularly
be careful with the spending:
eat out less often but at better places
limit online shopping
refrain from purchases of breakfast goodies & limit espresso drinks
explore st. louis
go on an exciting, fulfilling adventure abroad
create a scrapbook for london
successfully take the GMAT
be kind
volunteer
get to know more people
say thank you more often
remember to be grateful
drink more tea
avoid soda & vitamin water
remember to take my vitamins

will add to list as things come to me.

happy new year!

merry christmas

2008-12-25T10:18:00.004-05:00

2008-12-08T23:46:00.000-05:00

2008-12-04T22:47:00.001-05:00

2008-12-03T02:42:00.001-05:00

simple pleasures

2008-11-14T00:02:00.006-05:00

*lightly sweetened iced tea
*watching favorite rom coms over & over again
*mornings in the fall - and everything else: the air, the leaves
*close-to-perfect playlists
*dining out
*sitting on the floor + reading the paper
*online shopping
*making really good eggs
*runs that clear my head
*my white roses perfume
*ramen + udon
*nail polish
*weekend-morning lounging
*shoes
*the medicinal scent of my elderflower hand cream
*magazines + starbucks + airports

[smitten]

2008-10-15T02:40:00.002-05:00

from TIME magazine (10.06.08), "Michelle's Gift," about Mrs. Obama:

"And contrary to her claims, Michelle is not the first person of her kind I've seen; she's actually recognizable as a very particular type, though it took me until after the [DNC] to figure out what that type is. I suspect this person will be familiar to anyone who has, in the past 25 years, been a young, college-educated woman in her first real job: you're, say, 22 and somewhat clueless, and you go to work in an office where there's a woman eight or 10 or 12 years older than you who's not only visibly good at her job but also confident and friendly and well-dressed and busy with a life that features a cute husband and a nice house and maybe even a couple of kids. And you think maybe, if everything goes right, your own life could turn out like hers."

magic... in a young girl's heart ~

2008-08-12T21:41:00.003-05:00

today was a magical day ~ i was certain of it when my evening was capped by a rainbow so marvelous that it stretched almost full circle !
magical light...
if ever i believed in signs & chance & what is meant to be... it has to have been this summer.

today: praise for an honorable goal, legacies + mentors ~ not a question of what we want to do but who we want to become...

* * *

my little new york getaway...

2008-07-09T22:49:00.008-05:00

flew away to new york for the fourth. m & i stayed w/great auntie in jersey. the 3 of us had breakfast together each morning consisting of coffee (freshly ground & brewed), o.j., a toasted english muffin & an egg sunny-side-up.

shopping. dim sum in chinatown. unidentified smells. people-watching. pinkberry, red mango - raspberries, mochi. old songs on ipod driving with windows down. giant crab bag to hold all my things. stuffy subway passageways. tired feet. seeing old friends. gooooooood times.

^little italy
^cupcake date with j.
^magnolia buttercream mmm...
^little italy
^outdoor dining in little italy
^hot dogs on the street
^matching summer cobalt in soho
^dinner w/great auntie @ madeleine's
^moma
^moma: this takes the prize too. ha! look like a bunch of hyenas. june looks cute as a bugs car tho.
^waiting for fireworks
^waiting for fireworks
^chicken & rice on the sidewalk before fireworks
^taboo on fdr drive before fireworks
^macy's fireworks over the east river
^fireworks!
^little t-bone watching fireworks
^mesmerized by the penguins @ the central park zoo
^central park zoo
^brunch @ mesa grill
^red mango MMM...
^fave tunes + driving with the windows down

good ole summertime...

more photos from minneapolis...

2008-06-21T22:06:00.008-05:00

^letterpress postcard from lunalux
^i ordered heeeels online... the box itself was a delight to open! ^_^
^just as summer should be
^bff
^lemonade @ the stone arch bridge art festival^peonies @ the farmers market
^sock monkeys @ hunt & gather
^hunt & gather, charming shop for browsing
^french flashcards
^this lovely gauzy dress^grandmothers @ the minneapolis institute of arts
^tied up sailboats in lake calhoun
^some ducks took over that rowboat in the lake
^a view of downtown from lake calhoun

also, i ordered a bag online & can't wait for it to arrive . . . ^_^

still wishing i were elsewhere...

2008-06-09T22:19:00.008-05:00

but i do have some photos from this side to share:
^georgetown ^georgetown ^the mississippi, from below hennepin ave bridge ^buttons @ the yarnery in st. paul^knit gnomes @ the yarnery ^kitchenwares on grand in st. paul ^cow creamer pitcher ^chocolates @ the golden fig in st. paul ^by the mississippi^the guthrie theater ^by the river ^lily of the valley @ the mill city farmers market ^brunch @ spoonriver ^by the river ^m & e @ the chambers hotlist - taste of the nation benefit ^the courtyard of the chambers hotel ^w/m @ the chambers benefit
^inside the walker art center
^minneapolis farmers market

so... minneapolis is no london, but it's faring pretty well, all things considered. the walker was lovely, very well done, a nice collection w/interesting + topical temporary exhibits & not overwhelming (i like it more than the tate modern actually). the farmers market was also big and bustling with a good coffee stand, perfect for a weekend morning. the twins game was fun & i'm even anticipating going again. there's plenty of distinctive architecture, charming boutiques & cute eateries scattered around the city, but there is also a lot of ugly in between.

of course i miss london each day that i'm here, but i still have every intention of making the most of my time in the twin cities.

best,

m.

goodbye, london...

2008-05-20T05:25:00.015-05:00

i've never been so sad to leave a place before. can't say i'm thrilled to be back here.

a look back over the last few months...

with fondest memories,

m.

2008-03-14T15:06:00.005-05:00

today is my cat hui-hui's 14th birthday ~ turning 14 on the 14th. it should be quite lucky, and she has been in a way ~ just a month ago, i was not so sure that she'd make it this long actually.

you see, for those of you who don't know, we discovered that hui-hui has a giant tumor in her abdomen, possibly cancer. her eating & bowel movements have varied from normal to not so much. she weighs at most four pounds now. her condition was improving in the last week or two, but it seems that she has become considerably weaker these past few days.

anyhow, today is my darling girl's birthday, and unfortunately, i can't be there with her. she is lucky enough, though, to have my parents there with her. carrying her, they took her for a walk around our lake this afternoon, and my mother baked her some kitty biscuits.

here is a photo of mom with hui-hui:

hui-hui's been a part of the family since she was a baby; the two of us have grown up together. happy birthday, my sweet girl~

hiya from london

2008-03-03T19:12:00.011-05:00

it's been precisely two months since i left the us for london. i am loving it here--i could really imagine myself living here more permanently someday. except for the weak dollar and the driving-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-road thing, living here has hardly required any adjustment. a lot has happened these past two months, including visits to lisbon, madrid, brussels & frankfurt. i think the remainder of my time will be grounded here in london (not that i mind), with some short trips to places just outside london and possibly paris or scotland or wales? there is so much to do here that i feel compelled every weekend to get out & see. hyde park has become one of my favorite places to go on weekends--running there in the morning is perfection. the museums here are also wonderful & plentiful. i like my internship very much, mainly because of the people. i love my team--everyone is quirky and interesting and unique and so welcoming--these characters meld together so well into our team. i live with four other girls from my university in a flat in central london--there are three of us who spend a lot of time together--it's odd and funny and surprising to me how well we can get along. i have so many photos to document all of this, too many to post at once i think but if i don't post all at once, many are sure to be lost in the shuffle. i'll try to filter through & pick just a few:

^my street^the view @ my office^my flatmates, in front of the bank of england ^out for a drink with flatmates ^lunch @ borough market with anna & her flatmate asako ^amazing hostel in lisbon - traveler's house - highly recommended ^delicious portuguese food
^castle in sintra, just outside lisbon ^the view from a castle in lisbon (color enhanced... but not that far from reality)

^with mary @ thieves' market in lisbon ^plaza mayor, madrid @ night - sax player^row boating in retiro park - madrid

^retiro park, madrid
^lunch in frankfurt ^belgian chocolates & other sweets
^in the heart of brussels
^dinner at la rose blanche in brussels ^sunju on the train from brussels to brugge - the picture within a picture within a picture was my idea ;)
^brugge
^sunday upmarket in east london
^hyde park
^china town @ the new year
^mmm... steamed hazelnut milk @ paul
^everyone is out with their dogs in hyde park ~ so cute
^our flat loves cupcakes from hummingbird in south kensington
^chelsea on a saturday afternoon
^fair trade fair on the south bank^falafel dinner @ anna's

***

so, things are well here & i hope all is well with you too.

2008-01-01T01:28:00.000-05:00

happy new year!

2007 was quite a year, & 2008 promises to be an interesting one as well. i leave for london on friday, though i still don't think i have realized it at all (it doesn't bode well for my packing). another update: it has been settled~i will be spending the summer in minneapolis! i really don't know what to expect of all this~it's thrilling & frightening all at once.

i wish all the best for you & yours in 2008.

it's been a while...

2007-11-23T23:24:00.000-05:00

i have so much to tell, but i don't think i will ever be able to catch this blog up. i know i promised to tell you about shanghai b/c, what a summer!~but i'm not so sure now. yesterday i was reading through the journals i kept in Word while i was there & it reminded me of just how tumultuous the summer was~i had forgotten so much & had begun idealizing as the case often is, glazing over the unpleasant bits. i will post some photos (but they miss out on a lot) & ... i think i will post some excerpts still.

before you read these, i feel like i should have a disclaimer or something: first of all, sorry it's so long. secondly~i'm not sure if i still feel the same things i wrote about in these entries, but they are representative of my real-time experience as the summer progressed. i am very dramatic at times, so just roll your eyes at me and keep going. this summer was important to me~invaluable, i'm sure~and though it didn't turn out as i had hoped, i'd like to think that i grew a lot from the experience. i am grateful that i was able to have this opportunity.

***
06.14.07
3:14 AM

I am scared shitless of living here in Shanghai for two months on my own, or as “on my own” as I’ve ever done....

Reading Chinese overwhelms and frustrates me. Whether it’s the newspaper or the back of the laundry detergent box, I just see all these words that I don’t know and my eyes glaze over. It takes so long to read just a tiny bit of writing. Same with watching the news—I can’t understand, and I just zone out. It’s easy to block out. I can read and have Chinese TV on in the background. Not a good thing....
***
06.17.07
12:11 AM

For the first time, I tried chou dou fu—stinky tofu. They were cubes, deep fried with some sauce drizzled on top. They smell awful—sour, moldy, sort of like an old dirty kitchen rag. But they’re supposed to taste very good. I still thought it tasted slightly like the camel or elephant house at the zoo, but only slightly.

***
06.17.07
8:08 AM

Sometimes I miss my parents so much it’s hard to breathe. I don’t anticipate getting over this homesickness. I don’t see how I can stop missing them, how I can stop always thinking of them. God, I want to go home. Or they could come here and just take me out. I don’t want to work here. Prospects are so bleak. I feel stranded here. I miss my parents so badly. It’s so hard. I’m so scared. There’s so much uncertainty....

I miss home so much. The sight of masses of Chinese people doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy and homey as I’d thought it would.
***
06.24.07
1:23 PM

It’s a Sunday afternoon now. I have a load of darks in the washer, my lights are hanging on the banister, and I’m listening to Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now.”

I spent the morning exploring the area around Carrefour. I took the 987 (I had to wait twenty-some minutes for it!) to one stop beyond Carrefour. There’s a row of little stores there, two of them that sell DVDs. The first one I went into was more expensive, about Y15 each. The second was Y10 each. They had a great selection of American movies, even Shrek 3 & Pirates 3, which are both still playing in theaters. I got Failure to Launch and The Notebook for Y9 each. While I was in the store, there was a pair of Americans, probably about my age, one guy one girl. I think they live around here—the Green Villas community is right next to it, and I think a lot of expats probably live there. They both spoke excellent Chinese when bargaining with the storeowner, and then spoke totally American English on their cells with their friends. It’s interesting, the life they lead....

I went to explore the French Concession yesterday. From the South Huangpi Road metro station, it’s just a short walk to Xintiandi, a hip neighborhood of bars, cafes, shops, and restaurants. I went inside Flow Market, a shop/gallery. The merchandise is all this one artist’s artwork. I don’t remember if he’s Chinese or Danish. The inside of the store is minimalist in style—all white and clean lines and such. They basically sell empty clear and white containers—bottles, cans, boxes, etc. that have bold black labels—social criticism, really. Examples: a black tote bag that said “We use more than 12 million plastic bags a year,” a can that said “Fair trade,” a spray bottle that said “Good vibes,” a carton that said “Clean air,” a soda can that said “Clean energy,” etc....

I had dinner at Yang’s Kitchen from a recommendation in Lonely Planet. They said the eggplant with pork and bing was “out of this world,” so I ordered it. I thought it mediocre. I brought the leftovers home.

I got a DVD of High School Musical for Y7 from a man selling music DVDs out of suitcases by the side of the road.
***
06.24.07
5:50 PM

I am reading Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, and it is making me yearn for America. The main character Sal is a man from New Jersey, a man with a past in the East but a desperate longing for a future in the West. I think I am the same way. I think that I have my own myth of the West, like Sal. I am a product of the East, but I have spent much of my life searching to create my own story of the West. Of course, this is all relative—my East is not New York but Beijing, and my West is not the Great Plains or California but the whole of the United States.... Now more than ever, I view myself as an American, or at least a Chinese-American. Probably more the latter, such that I am stuck in a sort of limbo.... If I were to live and work in China as an expatriate, I would not feel completely at home among the local Chinese, but at the same time, the American expatriate community would not be able to immediately identify me as one of their own either.

I realize that as I am counting down the days until I leave Shanghai (47 days) and wishing for them to pass by more quickly, I am also wishing away my summer. I fear that the days of separation from my parents are rapidly dawning upon me. I will spend ten days or so with them in Beijing, then a week back home, and then I will have to return to school. I will see them again for a few days for Thanksgiving, and then a few days for Christmas before I have to cut Winter Break short to go to London. From then, I will probably not see them until June or so. Our days are numbered, and I am heartbroken.
***
06.25.07
8:07 PM

My first real cooking success here! I stir-fried some bok-choy-like leafy vegetable (xiao bai cai) with some oil, garlic, scallions, and salt, and some scrambled eggs w/tomatoes & ham. It was all delicious!

This afternoon at work, I got the urge to do pilates. I like Denise Austin’s video b/c it’s set in some tropical resort, and I like to pretend I am there, rather than in this hellhole that is my current life.

Yes, a hellhole. A steaming, humid, hot, smoggy hellhole. That’s what I was thinking today during my lunch break as I walked around the office park.... I don’t like it here. I want to run away. Run away, run away.

I am going to give in soon and buy some ice cream. I was tempted to at Carrefour the other day. They have ice cream in pint-size or smaller packages, so I wouldn’t have to buy a lot. I love ice cream. Unfortunately, this phase of homesickness is angrier and more depressing and, instead of suppressing my appetite, it has stimulated my cravings for junk food.
***
06.28.07
7:39 PM

When I got home this evening, I found that the elevator was under maintenance, so I had to climb all the way up to the seventh floor, up the un-air-conditioned stairwell. As I watched The Notebook for the second time since buying it here, I saw fireworks in the distance outside my window. They weren’t spectacular.
***
07.02.07
08:31 PM

Never have I done something so mind-numbingly dull for such a prolonged period of time. Today all I did was read users’ manuals for computer data-tracking systems. By the end of the day, I could not concentrate for the life of me and desperately wanted to run away or crawl under the desk and take a nap. Do these people honestly believe that a person can read those things all day long? I wanted to run away so badly.
***
07.05.07
8:35 PM

Today on my walk home, the air was so humid it was suffocating. I spent the morning doing some paperwork but then had nothing to do the rest of the day. I think this place is going to suck all the spirit out of me.... I need to be in California, where there are winding roads that go on and on along the ocean waves. I need to be able to escape and just drive and go.

I finished reading On the Road this morning. The writing is crazy beautiful… There’s this urgency of spirit, like Sal and Dean—their bodies can’t contain all their maddening dreams and desires and needs. Dean, he can’t stay in one place—he has to go—he has to keep driving, keep moving on ahead. There’s this crazy maddening energy. The book is cool—it’s got style....

In the short movie Good Morning, Baby, the main character’s friend says, New York is my lover, and right now we’re in a fight. I keep thinking of that line with regard to my feelings toward China right now. I want to like it here—I mean, hell, I’m supposed to be an East Asian Studies minor or something. I’m slowly adjusting. I think that if I didn’t hate my job so much, it wouldn’t be that bad.

A big part of the problem is that I’m not experiencing China in a vacuum. All of my experiences here, I can’t help but compare to my American life. And it’s the summer, and I feel like I’m missing my American summer. For me, summer is supposed to be the beach, berry picking on farms, cooking experiments at home with Martha, outings with my home friends, the mall, etc. etc. Summer is supposed to be like the bike ride through the countryside in Wedding Crashers—young, carefree, breeze-in-your-hair summer. I’m watching the movie right now....
***
07.08.07
8:08 PM

I think I’m actually content here I think. Like, hmm, hey, I don’t mind this. Though I may not like work, weekends are lots of fun.
***
07.07.07

I spent this luckily-numbered day @ the Live Earth concert, but my entry for that day isn't that interesting.
***
07.10.07
8:52 AM

I think I could almost live comfortably here if I had to, like long-term, with a real job that I liked.... If I worked here on an American salary and had a beautiful apartment or house and my own car, I could live very well here. Shopping (clothing, shoes) here isn’t cheap though—the same stores and brands carry higher price tags here I think. But food, groceries are inexpensive. And they have nice gyms here, and people like to do yoga, and there are nice gourmet restaurants, western and eastern in cuisine. If I were to live in a relative vacuum, life could be pretty good here. My main concern would be the language problem—or at least others’ expectations of my language capabilities. From my outward appearance, I wouldn’t be expected to have such an imperfect grasp of the language and history here. If I were to live in a community of foreigners, would I fit in? Even then, I would look out of place, wouldn’t I?

I’m afraid that there isn’t enough time left for me to explore all the places I want in Shanghai. Yesterday afternoon, I went through my Lonely Planet book and bookmarked (w/these awesomely brightly colored post-it tabs I found in my desk) all the places I want to see. There are a lot of tabs....

It’s raining today.... Everyone here carries a pastel colored umbrella, even the men. The umbrellas are pink and light blue and lavender, often with flowers or plaid or lacy designs or funny English words. This morning, on my walk to work, I saw at least three men carrying pink umbrellas, in shades varying from bright magenta to light blush.
***
07.11.07
4:03 PM

The women here are all pregnant, did I tell you that before? This year is the year of the pig, and everyone wants their babies to be pig babies—fat and full and happy. They pregnant women here wear these aprons/smocks/jumpers that are supposed to block the radiation from computers. It makes the ones who are still early in their pregnancies and without the rounded tummies look like cleaning ladies.

Today so far, I have done no work. I finished reading Liar’s Poker, listened to a podcast of Rick Steves’s guide to Paris, watched two of the short Glamour films I have on my iPod, and did a few Sudoku puzzles....

I mean, I’m having fun (relatively—relative to what it was like a week or two ago) in everything besides work. I enjoy going to Carrefour and exploring places around the city on weekends. But that’s not the main reason my school sent me here, is it? I mean a huge part of it is supposed to be deeper understanding of Asian culture, but I’m getting that mostly out of my weekend excursions and outside-of-work relationships, not the job itself. If anything, the job has turned me against this culture—I think that is probably misplaced. I think my frustrations should be directed against this company or this office rather than this country. Last night, watching Nanjing, I felt a surge of love for this country—but here, back in this soulless, fluorescently-lit hell, I forget that....
***
07.12.07
1:17 PM
After Rachel and Liu Li went inside Bldg 4, and as I continued to walk to Bldg 8, I looked at the apartment buildings overlooking the office park (presumably inhabited by many foreigners) and thought—am I Vanity Fair’s “ugly American” disguised in a Chinese façade? I think I’d rather be a full-fledged ugly American—at least then I’d have an excuse for my ways. If I look Chinese but live the American lifestyle here in China, would the Chinese look at me as if I were an idiot? ...

Rachel told me about a term they have here—xiang jiao ren: literally translated, it means banana person. It describes Asian kids who have grown up in foreign countries, but it doesn’t carry any of the derogatory meaning that calling someone a banana or Twinkie in the US has.
***
07.12.07
3:06 PM

I’m reading TIME’s China blog. Really, it’s a wonder to me that it isn’t blocked. I’m glad though, b/c the entries are fascinating. They’re written by a handful of expats and others of mixed backgrounds, an ABC, an HK halfie. I think China is full of identity-stricken people....

China’s supersonic rate of change also inevitably induces an identity crisis as a side effect. It seems that this place is intent on eliminating all that is old and replacing it with new, neon, shiny, flashy, gleaming. It seems to have skipped a step—I wish it were better at preserving its past and its charm. Westerners do not leave home and come here to see more of the West, I think.

The diversity in China is very different from that of the US, though I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe a lot of the diversity is hidden. There’s unity in our black hair, yellow skin, and dark eyes, so it’s hard to decode what’s different underneath. Expectations are a big part of it. Outward similarity leads one to expect more of the same on the inside.

This trip to China has made me ponder the life of an expat more than I ever have before—I’ve never actually pondered it. I think the only other time when I thought briefly of the term expat was in the context of the old film, An American in Paris. I couldn’t even finish watching that movie b/c I was too annoyed by the leading actress’s voice.
***
07.13.07
7:38 PM

I forgot to tell you—I ran away from work today!

At one, when I got back from work, I asked Cherry if she had any work for me to do, but she responded in the negative. I told her to let me know if anything came up that I could do.

I read Buffet, did some online shopping, browsed Lonely Planet online, and downloaded more free podcasts until 3:30 or 4. At four, I went looking for Cherry—I decided that I’d ask if she thought she’d have anything for me to do for the rest of the afternoon, and if not, I’d just let her know that I was leaving early. I waited for her for fifteen minutes or so, but she wasn’t at her desk the whole time, so I just took off! I felt slightly rebellious… I didn’t know if I wanted anyone to notice or not…

Anyhow, after dropping off my things and changing at home, I took the bus to the DVD store and got the first two seasons of “The Office” for Y40. I walked over to the Decathlon complex for dinner at Indian Kitchen.
***
07.16.07
1:54 PM

There is a girl in the office here who I hear more often than I see. She has a pair of mules that have mother-of-pearl bangles sewn on top, and each time she nears my cubicle, it is as if Santa is paying a visit on his jingle-bell-bedecked sleigh, except minus the Christmas cheer and all that.

My weekend was wonderful—I fell in love with Moganshan Road and its massive complex of old factories and warehouses with whitewashed interiors, exposed brick, high ceilings, dusty old yellowing windows, exposed pipes, and modern Chinese art.
***
07.17.07
9:02 AM

I am in a homesick state of mind again. Last night I watched half a dozen episodes of “The Office.”... So much of what I see on the show reminds me of the please-just-kill-me-now misery I experience here at the office. Some quotes from the show:

Pam: “The thing about Jim is... when he's excited about something- like the Office Olympics- he gets really into it and he does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is that he works here so... that hardly ever happens.”

Ryan, the temp: “If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget too.”

The show is hilarious—just reading the quotes on IMDB makes me laugh. But sometimes it’s really sad too—like that second quote, from Ryan? I feel exactly the same way.

Also, this morning, I really didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t even feel like showering, so I didn’t. And I didn’t want to get dressed. I wanted to wear pajamas, or workout clothes; so instead, I wore a polo and capris. I thought of the quote from Wedding Crashers, from Owen Wilson: “Sometimes I feel so much like giving up."
***
07.17.07
3:54 PM

Some funny English names that the people in the office have selected for themselves: Apple (I wonder if that was before or after Gwyneth had her baby), Handsome, Green, and Buffer. I will add to this list as necessary.
***
07.24.07
9:32 AM

It’s funny that in a city like Shanghai, I often see the same people on the street. There is a foreign woman I see riding a moped in the morning. She looks eastern European or something—she usually wears a tank top and sunglasses and has her hair tightly pulled back. Yesterday, walking to and from work, I passed the same girl on the sidewalk, recognized by her black Bermudas and wide belt. There is a group of three men (they look American) who I sometimes see biking. The guy in front wears sunglasses and a beard. They all wear red outfits and bike helmets—perhaps cycling enthusiasts or a special courier service? Once, I think it was two weekends ago, I saw the same two girls on the 987 on Saturday night as on Sunday morning. I recognized them by their cloth, patterned handbags.

The sky here is bluer than I expected. Beijing’s pollution is worse.

Don’t think that I like this place though. I don’t think I could live in China because of the dirt. Places are dirty. Clean places are the exception, rather than the rule. Dust covers everything, and one should go into a bathroom assuming the worst. The Shanghai Museum has excellent bathrooms.

People here live in cities—that is where the quality of living is best. Unfortunately, these places also have poor air quality and the greenery is awkward at best. The Song Qing Ling Mausoleum and Former Residence showcased the best greenery I’ve seen here so far. I need nature and mountains and open space and beach. I hate to dust and mop the floors. I wish I could run around barefoot.
***
07.27.07
3:17 PM

I wandered down another street lined with people selling produce and meat (butchered and still alive). I saw cages with a mélange of birds: chickens, pigeons, and doves, with ducks sitting in a Styrofoam box. Net bags were filled with live frogs, bins and baskets were filled with slithering eels and snakes, and tubs were filled with crabs and crawfish. Overlooking the right side of the street were homes where laundry and comforters hung from balconies, while the left side bared the ruins of other buildings that had already been torn down. Some vendors had set up their goods right in front of these ruins. These were the front lines of the bulldozing of old Shanghai. Soon, I imagined, the knocking ball would skip across the street. The massive, sprawling scale model of Shanghai [at the Shanghai Municipal Museum] was conspicuously lacking in any old buildings, replaced instead by cloned apartment high-rises.
***
07.30.07
8:14 PM

I’m ready to leave Shanghai. It’s getting old. Now I know that I’ve wanted to leave since the moment I got here, but this is a different kind of desire. I think I’m done here. I think before, when I wanted to leave, it was like running away or going back. Now, it’s like I’ve done what I’ve needed to do here and I’m ready to move on—I’m moving forward. I don’t know—it’s hard to explain.

I mean, there are still a handful of places I want to explore: I want to do some shopping on Taikang Road in the French Concession, visit the Shanghai Art Museum and have lunch on the roof at Kathleen’s 5, do a walking tour of the Bund, and return to Old Street to buy some beautiful purses or West Fuxing Road to buy the Tibetan wood and silver earrings that I can’t stop thinking about. Still, I’m ready to leave Shanghai.

Today as I left work and approached the main gate where the office park meets the street, I felt tears welling up for some reason. I guess this crying and homesickness comes in waves. I guess I’m lonely here, but it’s also sort of self-imposed. I don’t feel super connected to anyone here. Even given the sadness I sometimes feel that one might speculate is the result of loneliness, I’d much rather explore the city on my own than with coworkers or relatives. I think I miss the people from home—my closest friends and my parents, people who I can be really honest to and who really get me.

Note to self: Look up Rolf Potts, author of Vagabonding and also a blogger.
***
08.09.07
10:05 PM

Oddly enough, I think I’m going to miss this place.

Tonight was a perfect breezy summer evening. In the past week, there has been a change in the weather. Skies have been blue, as blue as it gets over yonder across the Pacific. It’s actually because of a change in the winds—there is some sort of wind current or monsoon or some other weather phenomenon in the Pacific that is blowing the smog and dust and pollution away from the coast, clearing up the skies for city folk....

I had dinner at Simply Thai, on their deck by the pond at the Green Sports & Leisure Center. There was a breeze blowing, candlelit ambiance, and smooth tunes playing. I swayed to the music and all was perfect and at peace. Then a woman spit in the pond and it was like, Of course....

I suppose I could see myself living here. I can’t decide if I’d want to raise my kids here. I don’t know what sort of identity crisis I want them to find themselves in. I guess it’s inevitable that they’ll have an identity crisis. I feel like I’m going through one right now. According to TIME magazine, identifying with one’s background is one way to happiness. I’m working on it.

I’m so confused. Never in my life have I thought so much. This summer has been a contemplative one… and I still haven’t drawn any conclusions. I suppose that’s good—I’m open to what may come.
***

[photos in an upcoming post...]

2007-10-06T01:00:00.000-05:00

i stumbled across this quote in thursday's wall street journal, snipped it out, & taped it to my wall. (anthony kronman is a professor at yale and author of education's end: why our colleges and universities have given up on the meaning of life.)

end of summer

2007-08-27T05:30:00.000-05:00

it's the end of summer once again, and my heart aches for may, when summer was merely an idea in my head but one filled with all the hope and anticipation that summer is always burdened with bearing. i yearn for lazy days at home, weeks at the beach, lunches with friends, and weekend outings with the family. today i return to school, and with my jet lag still lingering, i now also yearn for thanksgiving, when i can return home again.

it's been less than a week since i returned home from china, and i'm off to hop on a plane again to leave. the sun is rising now over the lake, flaming and liquid, and the water is so still you can see the clouds reflected in it. i feel rushed to leave home again--i feel like i've barely spent any time here this summer. one month home, two months in shanghai, ten days in beijing, and then home again for six days.

last night we had crabs on the deck with a close family friend--it's almost become a ritual since i started college. it seems that every time i leave home for school again we invite this friend over for crabs--i always request crabs for dinner when i'm home, and this friend is so close she's almost like family, so i don't worry myself that she'll intrude on my last blissful night at home.

i don't really know what to expect of this semester, so perhaps that's why i'm so intimidated by the thought of it. i think it'll be tough and new, but i suppose it also has the potential to be great if i make it happen. anyhow, here's to another semester of possibility and an amazing place to return to at the end of it all.

2007-07-30T22:30:00.001-05:00

hmmm... this is funny. i can't view my blog (or any of the other blogger blogs i read) from here in shanghai but it seems that i can make a new entry. i wonder if you all can see this? i think american blogs hosted by blogger are blocked, but blogger china seems fine.

anyhow, i think most of you know but just in case--i'm in shanghai now and that's why i've been m.i.a. for so long. i have less than two weeks left here (i've been here since june 12th) before i head to beijing to visit relatives and meet up with my parents. after a week and a half there, i'll be returning to the states with my parents.

i've been keeping a journal on my laptop in Word and i write in it sporadically. when i get home, i'll post some excerpts (the thing is 38 pages right now).

i don't want to say too much about my trip so far because i don't want to rush to judgment about how i feel and what i've taken away. even with just eleven days left out of what began as around sixty and each day filled with pondering my situation and experiences and my attitudes towards it all, i think i need more time to reflect upon it more wholly. what i will say though, because i think it's pretty safe to say, is that this has been the most challenging thing i have ever done--the most emotionally taxing thing, and it has certainly made me do a lot of brow-furrowing thinking.

anyways, i think i am ready to move on and i look forward to returning to the states so that i may share my summer abroad with you and catch up on everything i've missed.

all the best.

2007-06-06T10:41:00.000-05:00

i got my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday morning, all four of them. from wikipedia: "They are generally thought to be called wisdom teeth because they appear so late—much later than the other teeth, at an age where people are supposedly wiser than as a child, when the other teeth erupt.... Turkish language refers directly to the age at which wisdom teeth appear and calls it 20 yaş dişi (20th year tooth). In Korean, its name is Sa-rang-nee (사랑니, love teeth) referring to the young age and the pain of the first love. In Japanese, its name is Oyashirazu (親知らず), literally meaning 'unknown to the parents' from the idea that they erupt after a child has moved away from home." i suppose it's appropriate: i'm twenty this year, and i'm about to live on my own (at least more so than i ever have before) for two months in another country (though it is my home country). makes it sound a lot more romantic than it actually is, doesn't it?

i spent all day yesterday sleeping on the couch and waking up occasionally to shuffle around the first floor (didn't feel up for any stair-climbing), get a new ice pack, take meds, watch some tv, etc. holding a book and reading felt like too much effort. i felt lightheaded and slightly queasy, very sluggish and grumpy during the periods when the painkillers were wearing off but before i could take them again. my mother made me eggs and freshly squeezed orange juice. it's nice to be babied. ^_^

the painkillers hurt my appetite. they made me throw up too~yuck~but i felt a lot better afterwards. i wasn't allowed to have dairy yesterday, but i made a delicious smoothie w/a banana, blueberries, pineapple, and soy milk. today i get to have ice cream! yay.

i perused the pottery barn summer catalog. everything is so beautiful and perfectly coordinated. seaside living would be amazing. i really want to live in california someday. i feel inexplicably drawn to the ocean. but ocean views are very different from under the ocean for me:

i watched whale rider the other day. the underwater shots of the ocean and whales, i associate them with death. that's what i imagine death to be like, with its eerie quietness, the floaty quality, isolation, and lack of orientation. maybe things like the titanic and the awakening have prompted this sort of association. i know, creepy turn of events in this entry. let's move on.

i got some good ideas from the catalog for ways to use all the shells i've collected over the years and ways to display photographs in a cool, casual way. i'm painting today. i created an awesome playlist to listen to while i paint. i have a huge canvas that i bought last summer--this will be the third painting i paint on it (i was unsatisfied with the last two). the painting will be largely black and white, based on one of the photographs of a magnolia bloom that i took in south carolina. i think the b & w will look good with my chartreuse walls.

speaking of magnolia blooms, my friend gracie moo (well, actually her name's grace but i have 2 friends named grace so this will differentiate them) has a giant magnolia tree in front of her house. grace, sooyoung, & i hung out together on monday (i had to squeeze it in before i got my teeth pulled). we got indian food for lunch (omg i love) and then went shopping, looking for super cheap clothes. we tried on bunches of summer dresses at marshall's and then went digging through the clearance racks and $1 section at target. wrapped up the afternoon with italian ice & custard @ rita's. i had such enormous fun. i have such great friends. i love them. ^_^

last friday, sooyoung, crystal, & i went to paint pottery. i painted a mug that'll be ready for pickup on friday afternoon. i can't wait to see how it turns out! afterwards, i went to angela's~she hosted a get-together of friends to put together care packages for our soldiers--not just in iraq, but all over the world. there's a website www.anysoldier.com that links up soldiers w/those like us who want to help. they request things like personal care items, food, magazines, etc. i mailed out a care package for some soldiers in the air force in iraq--they requested school supplies for the local schools they work with. we just have to ship it to an army post office in new york or cali & they ship it to wherever the soldiers are abroad. regardless of politics, it's a very worthwhile, very simple thing to do. it's great that angela organized the whole thing and made it happen. too often we just talk about things and do nothing.

ange is one of the people who inspire me. i've known her since middle school. in high school, we did "political" things together--we went to hear howard dean speak for the maryland dems, we volunteered for the kerry campaign and worked the polls on election day since we weren't old enough to vote yet. she goes to unc now, studying public policy & bio. she listens to npr, reads a lot, has an inquisitive mind, and tries hard to keep up with world events/politics. she keeps me informed too, and she inspires me to keep myself informed. i admire her. :)

i think the base coat for my painting has dried. back to painting now.

2007-06-01T11:35:00.000-05:00

angela came over thursday night for dinner, and i made fish tacos. my dad helped me grill the fish & some shrimp, as well as the tortillas. i made mango salsa and guac. we had quite a spread of toppings: shredded cheese, sour cream, refried beans, tomatoes, golden corn, and shredded green cabbage. it was all delish, and ange & i got to do lots of chatting.
today my parents and i went to visit the national building museum (and its sustainable living exhibit~pretty neat, though not mind-blowing) and then went to the fish market to pick up some live crabs for dinner! excited. ^_^ (btw, interesting fact: the bamboo floor that my parents recently put in our family room is actually eco-friendly. bamboo grows much faster than trees, so it's a natural resource that more readily renews itself, and bamboo is cheaper than wood! you can also buy bamboo tableware. consider it next time. it's all very pretty too.)

i put together two shadow boxes for my room. i got some photos that i've taken at the beach printed in b & w with a black border, and then added some shells that i've found on various vacations.